Christians Engaging In Premarital Sexual Relations Before Marriage, Is It Okay?

Introduction
Common "wisdom" says that living together in a "trial
marriage" is a good way to determine if couples are
compatible before marriage. A companion paper,
based upon scientific studies, shows that this idea is
false. Many Christians seem to have bought into the
secular idea that as long as one is "in love" it doesn't
matter if couples live together (and engage in
premarital sex).
The problem is that many times
"love" fails, and Christians end up moving from one
relationship to another. This paper examines what
the Bible says about living together before marriage,
for those who claim to be Christians.
Biblical love isn't a feeling
Most people think that love is that elated, "high"
feeling we get when we "fall in love." This kind of
"love" is something that lasts typically less than a
year. Most couples decide to live together during this
period of time when their decisions are often based
upon emotions and passions. According to the Bible
love "rejoices with the truth... always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres... never
fails". One will notice from this description that love
isn't what you get from someone, it is something you
give to someone. The Bible confidently says that love
never fails, because as long as these things are done,
love cannot fail. However, if we are interested in
getting rather than giving, then selfishness always
succeeds in shipwrecking a relationship.
Sexual relationships and the Bible
The doctrine of keeping sexual relationships within
the bounds of marriage is so important that it is
spelled out in the second chapter of the first book of
the Bible (Genesis 2). The marriage covenant is
spelled out in the original narrative that describes the
meeting of the first man and first woman:
For this cause a man shall leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall
become one flesh. And the man and his wife were
both Unclad and were not ashamed. (Genesis
2:24-25)
The Bible actually encourages married couples to
enjoy their sexual relationships within marriage. The
New Testament confirms that sexual relations within
a marriage is not sinful. Paul says that those who
marry have not sinned. The writer of the book of
Hebrews states, "Marriage should be honored by all,
and the marriage bed kept pure," indicating that
sexual relations within marriage are "pure" and not
sinful.
Old Testament laws about sex
The Bible has a lot of bad things to say about being a
harlot. In fact, it was so frowned upon in Jewish
society that, among all the laws in the Old Testament,
spiritual unfaithfulness (idolatry) is compared to
harlotry. These days, people tend to think of harlots
as those who engage in multiple sexual relationships.
However, the Old Testament indicates that engaging
in even one sexual relationship before marriage (i.e.,
not being a virgin) makes one a harlot. Engaging in
consensual sexual relations with a married person
was a capital offense, and those who were found
guilty (both the male and female) were executed.
Consensual sexual relations between an unmarried
man and unmarried woman resulted in the man
being fined and required to marry the woman
without the possibility of any future divorce.
Essentially, there was no premarital sex, since once
you were caught you were married.
New Testament laws about sex
The New Testament confirms the laws of the Old
Testament. Specifically, adultery is condemned, even
including mental adultery, Inbreeding, and
homosexuality. Other sexual sins, including
premarital sex, are condemned through a couple
Greek words (the original language of the New
Testament) that can refer to a number of sexual sins,
depending upon context. These words are porneia
and pornos, from which the English word
"pornography" is derived. English Bibles will
translate these words different ways, so it is
important to know some of the ways in which the
words are translated. For example, the New
American Standard translates the words as
"fornication" (e.g., premarital sexual relations) and
sometimes as "immoral persons," which seems to be
some kind of generic immorality, although it
specifically refers to sexual immorality. Other English
words used to describe premarital sex include
"unchastity." The fact that these words refer to
premarital sexual relations can be seen in the
Pharisees answer to Jesus, where they insinuated
that He was born of fornication. The severity of this
kind of sin can be seen in the descriptions of what
will happen to people who practice sexual immorality
at the judgment.
The New Testament directly states that sexual activity
is to be restricted to marriage in the book of
Hebrews, where it condemns both adultery (engaging
in sexual relations with a non-spouse while married)
and fornication (engaging in sexual relations before
marriage):
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the
marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and
adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)
Conclusion
Premarital sexual relationships are strongly
condemned in both the Old Testament and New
Testament of the Bible. Therefore, Christians who
engage in premarital sex are breaking God's laws and
are not following Jesus Christ. Under such practices,
God is not honored, and both yours and your
partner's walk with Christ is hampered. In addition,
one's witness for Jesus is nullified, since even non-
believers know that living together before marriage is
not what a Christian should do. If you are involved in
this kind of relationship, you need to repent and start
living according to biblical standards. It is not okay
for a Christian to keep living a sinful lifestyle,
including sexual intimacy before marriage.
God bless you