Ada Obiako: Where Did Your Clothes Go?

We’re contemporary chicas.

We’re new age women. We’re, dare I say it… feminists? Anything a man can do, we can do too…better too. I understand the desire for acknowledgment and power. I understand the desire for attention. But, I must say ladies that I think we’re going down a dangerous slope.

My question for my ladies: Why have you refused to put on your clothes?

Why must we see the parts of you that we have no marital privilege to see? Why must you be lewd and crude with your dressing to prove that you have freedom and are a modern-day babe? Why must you draw our eyes to your boob spillage and barely-covered crotch region?

What story are you trying to tell?

And before you tell me it’s just, “me doing me”, and you have no agenda behind it, what I would like to know is who exactly do you think you’re fooling, love?

Of course you have an agenda behind it.

The agenda: You want attention. You want to be noticed. You want to be desired. You want to be talked about. You want to look hotter than the rest. You want to be infamous. You want to feel significant. You want to be a “rebel”. Trust me, I get it. I know it well. I too have worn a number of what-on-God’s-good-earth-was-she-thinking outfits back in my days.

The problem: Your agenda is costing you more than you might be willing to pay.

You see, the profit won’t be enough. The short-lived attention you get won’t be enough to satisfy you. It won’t be enough to keep you happy. It won’t actually make you any more valuable to the development of people and this world as a whole. It won’t make you a winner and someone else a loser. If you think that has nothing to do with you, I urge you to think again. People look at you; people learn from you, people are affected by your choices. Does walking around half-naked help anyone around you live with care and purpose? Does walking around half-naked make anyone around you healthier? Does walking around half-naked make people feel more compassionate and empathetic towards you and others? Does walking around half-naked inspire anything worth talking about?

Do you want to know what walking around half-naked will do?

It will increase your chances of being viewed as less of a person with feelings/heart and more of a sexual object for pleasure alone. It will increase your chances of being “used and abused” by your admirers. It will decrease your chances of being listened to for your thoughts, words, and valuable suggestions – which I know you have. It will likely cost too much.

Yes, I know people shouldn’t negatively judge you by your looks but my sister, I also know your clothing choices can either help people judge you less or tempt people to judge you more. Be mindful of your clothing choices. I know you want to look sexy but I also know you don’t need to be half-naked to make heads turn. You don’t need to be half-naked to be a rebel. You don’t need to be half-naked to be considered significant. You don’t need to be half-naked to live a great life. Be purposeful about your clothing choices. Remember, people look at you and learn from you. You are always teaching and telling stories in your life. When it comes to your clothes,

What story are you trying to tell?